David: a man after God’s own heart. You know what I love about David–aside from writing some of the most beautiful pieces of prose found in the Bible? Is that he was human–full of doubts, fears, insecurities–confident in the Lord one minute, scared and uncertain the next.
I am like this. I see His goodnesses–tangible, mind-blowing answers to prayer and yet I still doubt God’s sovereignty. I experience his protection, but become surrounded on every side and cower in fear. I am wronged and I want revenge. God gives me blessings beyond measure and I selfishly crave more.
David had defeated Goliath, God had given him victory, success, fame and yet he feared: I Samuel 27:1
David hid from Saul: I Samuel 20:5,
When the going got tough, he lied: I Samuel 27
David was wronged by Nabal and wanted revenge: I Samuel 25:13-33
David had a powerful kingdom, several beautiful wives, yet he craved more: II Samuel 11: 2-3
I find myself doing this, God has provided, He has protected, I testify–and then I mumble my doubts. But because I don’t know exactly what is going to happen 1, 2, 3 months from now, I fear, I start getting antsy.
If David was an emotional carousel, then I’m a roller coaster.
Is this the same man that wrote Psam 62?
1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault me?
Would all of you throw me down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 Surely they intend to topple me
from my lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie.
If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion
or put vain hope in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:
“Power belongs to you, God,
12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
and, “You reward everyone
according to what they have done.”
Indeed it is.
Find yourself on the up and down in just a matter of hours? Care to share?
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